3 DM Scripts Every Real Estate Agent Needs to Grow Their Network
You know you need to reach out, build connections, and grow your network. But every time you try to craft a message, it sounds either desperate ("Hey! Would love to connect!") or robotic ("I'm a local real estate professional in your area...").
Most DM scripts fail because they prioritize what you want over what the other person needs. They feel transactional, and worst of all, they sound exactly like the 47 other messages sitting unread in that person's inbox.
With 82% of all real estate transactions coming from referrals and repeat business, the ability to build authentic relationships through digital outreach has never been more critical.
Let's break down three DM frameworks for starting authentic conversations that can naturally evolve into valuable professional relationships.
Why Most Real Estate DM Scripts Fail (And What to Do Instead)
Before diving into specific scripts, let's address why most DM approaches fall flat.
The biggest mistake agents make is leading with their agenda. Messages that immediately ask for business, request referrals, or pitch services trigger defensive responses. We can all sense when we’re being viewed as a potential commission check rather than a human being.
Research shows that 79% of customers expect responses to social media messages within 24 hours, and 73% will buy from a competitor if a brand doesn't respond. The pressure is high, but the opportunity is even bigger when you get it right.
Another common failure is generic outreach that could apply to anyone. When your message feels like a mass blast rather than a personalized connection, it gets ignored. Recipients immediately recognize copy-and-paste templates, and they respond accordingly: by not responding at all.
The final pitfall is failing to provide value upfront. If your first interaction asks for something (time, attention, referrals, business) without offering anything in return, you've positioned yourself as a taker rather than a giver. This dynamic rarely leads to meaningful relationships.
What works instead: Personalization, genuine curiosity, and leading with value rather than an ask. The most effective DMs feel like the beginning of a conversation between two real people, not a sales pitch disguised as friendliness.
Script #1: Agent-to-Agent Networking (Building Professional Relationships)
The Context: You're reaching out to another real estate professional, maybe someone in a different market, an agent with complementary expertise, or someone whose content you genuinely respect. Your goal is to build a mutually beneficial professional relationship, not to compete or immediately ask for referrals.
Hey [Name],
I've been following your content for a bit and really appreciated your recent post about [specific topic]. [One sentence about what resonated or what you learned].
I'm based in [your market] and specialize in [your niche/strength]. Always looking to connect with agents who [something specific about their approach/values].
Would love to stay connected—no agenda, just think we'd probably have some good insights to share with each other.
Hope business is treating you well!
[Your Name]
Why This Works:
This approach demonstrates you've actually paid attention to their work rather than sending blind outreach. It shows respect for their expertise and positions the connection as mutually beneficial rather than one-sided. Most importantly, it removes pressure by explicitly stating "no agenda," which paradoxically makes people more open to engaging.
Real Example in Action:
"Hey Sarah,
I've been following your Tampa market updates for a few months and loved your breakdown of the recent insurance changes affecting buyers. The way you explained the coverage gaps was super clear and I actually shared it with a few of my own clients.
I'm based in St. Pete and work primarily with first-time buyers navigating the current market. Always looking to connect with agents who prioritize education over just closing deals.
Would love to stay connected! No agenda, just think we'd probably have some good insights to share with each other.
Hope business is treating you well!
Alex"
Key Principles:
Reference specific content they've created
Mention your own area/expertise without making it a pitch
Explicitly remove pressure with "no agenda"
Keep it conversational and brief
Script #2: Neighborhood / Community Connection (Local Market Farming)
The Context: You're reaching out to someone in a neighborhood you farm or a community you're targeting. This person might be a homeowner, local business owner, or community leader. Your goal is to become a helpful local resource, not to immediately ask if they're buying or selling.
The Script Framework:
Hey [Name],
Saw your post about [neighborhood event/local issue/community topic] and wanted to reach out. I live/work in [neighborhood name] and have been thinking about the same thing.
I'm a real estate agent here in the area, but more importantly, I'm genuinely invested in what's happening in our community. [One sentence about your actual involvement or concern].
If you're ever looking for insights on the local market or just want to connect with someone who cares about this neighborhood, I'm always happy to chat.
Either way, appreciate what you're doing for [specific thing they're involved in].
[Your Name]
Why This Works:
This script positions you as a community member first and an agent second. It demonstrates genuine interest in local issues beyond just real estate transactions. By acknowledging your profession without making it the focus, you remove the defensive walls people typically put up when they realize someone's trying to sell them something.
Real Example in Action:
"Hey Marcus,
Saw your post about the proposed development near the community park and wanted to reach out. I live right off Oak Street and have been following this pretty closely too. Definitely concerned about how it might affect traffic and green space.
I'm a real estate agent here in Seminole Heights, but more importantly, I'm genuinely invested in preserving what makes this neighborhood special. Been attending the planning meetings and trying to stay informed on how residents can have input.
If you're ever looking for insights on the local market or just want to connect with someone who cares about this neighborhood, I'm always happy to chat.
Either way, appreciate you keeping the community informed about what's happening.
Alex"
Key Principles:
Reference a specific community topic or concern
Lead with shared values or community involvement
Mention your profession naturally, not as the main point
Offer value without expecting anything in return
Show genuine appreciation for what they're contributing
Script #3: Reconnecting With Old Friends (Without Making It Weird)
The Context: You're reaching out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while, maybe a high school friend, former coworker, or college acquaintance. You genuinely want to reconnect, but you're also aware that your real estate career might eventually become relevant. The key is being authentic about both motivations without making the conversation transactional.
The Script Framework:
Hey [Name],
I know it's been forever, but I was thinking about [specific shared memory/mutual connection/something from their life] and your name came to mind.
How's life been treating you? Still [something you remember about them]?
I've been in real estate for [timeframe] now, which has been a wild ride—never thought I'd end up here! But yeah, would genuinely love to catch up if you're ever up for it. No business talk required.
Hope you're doing well!
[Your Name]
Why This Works:
This approach acknowledges the passage of time without being awkward about it. It demonstrates you remember actual details about their life, not just their name in your contacts. By mentioning your career naturally while explicitly removing business pressure, you create space for authentic reconnection while planting seeds for future referrals if the relationship develops naturally.
Real Example in Action:
"Hey Jessica,
I know it's been forever, but I saw your post about your daughter's soccer tournament and remembered all those games we played together at Countryside High. Time flies, right?
How's life been treating you? Still in the Brandon area?
I've been in real estate for about three years now, which has been a wild ride—never thought I'd end up here after our engineering days! But yeah, would genuinely love to catch up if you're ever up for coffee. No business talk required.
Hope you're doing well!
Alex"
Key Principles:
Reference specific shared experiences or memories
Ask genuine questions about their current life
Mention your career casually, not as a pitch
Explicitly remove business expectations
Offer a low-pressure way to reconnect
The Follow-Up That Makes or Breaks the Connection
Getting a response to your initial DM is just the beginning. How you follow up determines whether that conversation becomes a valuable relationship or fizzles out after two messages.
For Agent Networking: If they respond positively, suggest a specific way to stay connected. This might be following each other's content, having a quick Zoom coffee chat, or sharing market insights occasionally. The key is creating a reason for ongoing interaction without forcing it.
For Community Connections: Look for opportunities to provide value without asking for anything in return. Share relevant neighborhood information, introduce them to other community members, or simply engage with their posts about local issues. Build the relationship before any business conversation ever happens.
For Old Friends: Let the conversation develop naturally. If they respond warmly, focus on actual reconnection. Ask about their family, career, or life updates without steering toward real estate. The business relationship will develop organically if it's meant to, but forcing it will destroy the personal connection.
Universal Follow-Up Principles:
Respond promptly but not desperately
Continue providing value in subsequent messages
Let conversations breathe—don't force responses
Remember details they share for future reference
Allow business topics to emerge naturally, never forced
Common DM Mistakes That Kill Connections Before They Start
Even with good intentions, certain approaches guarantee your message gets ignored or deleted. Avoid these common pitfalls:
The Immediate Ask: Messages that request something in the first interaction ("Would you be open to a quick call?") put recipients in an uncomfortable position. Build rapport first.
The Fake Compliment: Generic flattery that could apply to anyone ("Love your feed!") signals you haven't actually engaged with their content. Be specific or say nothing.
The Bait-and-Switch: Acting like you want to be friends, then immediately pivoting to business once they respond, destroys trust and guarantees they'll never help you.
The Mass Message Energy: Even if you're personalizing each message, if it feels like a template, it will be treated like spam. Write like you're talking to a real person, not executing a prospecting strategy.
The Over-Explainer: Rambling paragraphs about your services, achievements, or business philosophy in your first message overwhelms recipients. Keep initial outreach brief and conversational.
FAQs About DM Outreach for Real Estate Agents
Q: How many people should I message per day?
A: Quality matters infinitely more than quantity. Five genuinely personalized messages to people you've actually researched will generate better results than 50 generic copy-and-paste templates. Focus on meaningful outreach, not volume metrics.
Q: Is it okay to mention I'm a real estate agent in my first message?
A: Yes, but context matters. For agent networking, it's essential. For community connections, mention it naturally without making it the focus. For old friends, include it as part of your life update, not as a pitch. The key is being transparent about your profession without leading with an agenda.
Q: What if someone doesn't respond?
A: Don't take it personally and definitely don't follow up repeatedly. People are busy, DMs get buried, and not everyone will respond. Move forward with other connections and trust that the right relationships will develop naturally.
Q: How long should I wait before mentioning business?
A: For agent networking, business topics can emerge relatively quickly since it's a professional relationship. For community connections and old friends, wait until you've established genuine rapport and they bring up real estate first, or until it emerges naturally in conversation. Forced business discussions kill authentic relationships.
Q: Can I use these scripts for email outreach too?
A: The principles absolutely translate to email, but adjust the tone slightly. DMs tend to be more casual and conversational, while emails might warrant slightly more formal language depending on your audience. The core approach (personalization, value-first, removing pressure) applies regardless of platform.
Building Relationships That Last (Not Just Leads That Convert)
Every DM is a chance to build a genuine relationship that might eventually lead to business, or might just lead to a valuable connection in your life.
When you approach outreach with curiosity, generosity, and authenticity, you naturally attract the kind of relationships that sustain long-term success. You stop chasing leads and start building a network of people who know, trust, and want to support you.
Want to learn more strategies for building authentic relationships that grow your business? Call 54 Realty at (813) 435-5411 to discover how we help agents build sustainable success through genuine connection.
